"I won't be in today. I have to drive to Philly and see my Aunt Gertrude."
"Where are you playing golf?"
"I swear, Rags. Gertie is very very sick."
"Carr, you're the biggest bull-thrower I've ever seen. Get your ass in here to work."
"Family duty, boss. But maybe I'll sell her some insurance with my new Financial Planner's license."