Thursday, September 6, 2007

Secrets of Aging Well


What was he thinking? The Famous Author, white-haired for the beach months of July and August, poses for a photo and consents to its publication on the worldwide internet? Did he think no one would notice, that his small but loyal cadre of fans...his marketing staff...and me, would just let this revelation pass unmentioned?

TFA reports his hairdresser Fredricka said today he looked better with white hair, but she dyed it anyway. TFA says he likes the Hemingway look, maybe even in a few years, Walt Whitman, but for now, his marketing department (which includes Fredricka) is screaming its head off about yesterday's photo. TFA is supposed to look YOUNG for his book audience.

Personally, I think TFA's marketing staff should get off its hairdressing butt and put out the following press release:

AUTHOR AGES 15 YEARS IN 6 MONTHS!

Debut mystery novelist Jack Getze lost more than a decade of his life this spring. He went on tour to promote himself and his new book, BIG NUMBERS, and he ended up with one foot--plus a knee and a hip--in the grave.

Look at these before and after shots, folks. It's amazing what travel, bad food, convention hotels, and maintaining a groomed appearance wracked out of the old geezer in six short months.

Blah, blah, blah...his marketing people could go on about the difficulties of book marketing, the tremendous competition, the snubs, the slings, the arrows....What a great story!

I think a few newspapers might run it.

I have to tell TFA about this when he gets back from the manicurist!

5 comments:

Beth said...

Still laughing, Austin. I DID note the "lighter" color of his beard, but blamed it on a poor memory...

Then again, maybe YOU'RE the reason he's aging prematurely!!

I think he looks dashing, regardless of the hue of his hair. So there.

Austin Carr said...

Like you, the geezer is always trying to blame me for his premature maturation. This is not true. In fact, I think I make him younger, maybe the only thing standing between him and a nursing home.

Dashing is good, though. TFA will be pleased.

Getze said...

I like the fact that TFA has to have a cap that says "Writer" on it so he doesn't forget what his main function in this world is.

Jersey Jack said...

I only wear the hat around my children. I'm trying to assert my independence.

Anonymous said...

White is the new elegant, but I'm still holding onto my Grecian Formula 44 stock.

-Detective Roger Stark
"There are limits to negotiation."