The Famous Author didn't come home last night, and while his family and co-travelers aren't worried, I am. Who's going to write my new adventures? TFA was last seen at a Border's store near Hilton Head, South Carolina, accosting potential book buyers with the phrase, "Do you like mysteries?" Having seen TFA in similiar situations, I fear for his health.
TFA is six-two, 215 pounds, with green eyes and graying hair. He wears rose-colored, corrective lenses to compensate for his natural dark outlook. Please, if you see him, would you send TFA home?
I'm going to call the local hospitals.