Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Will This Man Rip Us Up?

Oh, man, is The Famous Author nervous. Thursday afternoon, a real famous author named Dennis Lehane will critique my third adventure, BIG MOJO, in front of 12 other fiction students at Writers in Paradise. TFA is certain that Mr. Lehane will tell him the novel sucks, that he can't write a lick, and he should go back to whatever he was doing before.

I think TFA might be obsessing because he's such a fan of Lehane's. Me, I figure the author of MYSTIC RIVER, GONE BABY GONE, and other great novels will fall in love with me like everybody else. I mean, what's not to like? I'm cute. I'm funny. I'm smart, and I'm very modest.

So if Lehane doesn't like me, let him drink Drano.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Working With Lehane & Lippman

The program is called Writers in Paradise. It's in its fourth year. Fiction writers like our own The Famous Author travel to Eckerd College in St. Petersburg, FL to study craft with Dennis Lehane, Laura Lippman, Sterling Watson, and others. Hopefully, TFA's writing skills will get a bump and a boost.

And last night, TFA said I can come, too! Oh, boy. Am I ready to get out of New Jersey. It's 20 degrees this morning, and the weather people say the temperature won't get above freezing for the next week.

Florida sunshine, here we come.

Oh, yeah. For you TCOAC readers, the next week could be a spotty one for blogs. These writer conferences are full of choice, young, sensitive women. Austin Carr will be busy.

Friday, January 18, 2008

BIG MONEY, Chapter 26

“Come on, get uppa.”

The familiar, thickly accented voice cancels a nightmare about having my head crushed. Is that Mama Bones? What is she doing here? Or, more to the point, where the hell am I?

My head’s full of blood and mucous, ready to split like an overripe olive. My nose feels like a wad of prosciutto. Oh, yeah. Now I remember. I’m at the best little Italian restaurant in Little Italy. The joint right off Mulberry Street where, as a prize, three humans and The Creeper beat up one unlucky table of guests every night before pasta’s served. Keeps the other customers in line.

I roll to my hands and knees, let Mama Bones’s sturdy two-handed grip tow me onto my feet. Whoa. Mr. Vick’s mother owns major grasping and pulling forearms. Like Caterpillar back-hoes. Mama Bones must fill out a lot of phony bingo cards.

Two young men I remember from Mr. Vick’s sailing-away party in Atlantic Highlands stand watchfully behind Mama Bones. Dark-haired, dark-eyed. Wearing black chinos, black Nikes, and black T-shirts. Mr. Trim and Mr. Fit.

What’s up with them?

“No time to answer questions,” Mama Bones says. “This is Thomas, this one Gianni.”

Wonder if there’s anything to Mr. Vick’s claim his mother actually reads minds? Nah. It’s obvious I would have a question, right?

Mama Bones squats her ample butt down beside Gina and touches the younger woman’s shoulder. Her hand rubs Gina’s back. It’s a side of Mr. Vick’s mother I’ve never witnessed before. Almost warm. Like five-minute-old toast.

“We gotta go, honey,” Mama Bones says.

Gina’s hands and gaze won’t leave Tony’s face, the dark-haired beauty no longer Queen of Anything, just a shocked and frightened woman. Kind of the way I felt when Creeper hauled me and Ryan about the Locust Tree Inn dining room, Creeper with one arm around each of us, like we were broken lamps.

“Tony’s hurt,” Gina says. “We have to get help.”

Mama Bones leans across Gina and touches Tony’s neck. Her fingers don’t stay in contact more than three or four seconds. “We take him to hospital,” Mama says. She waves for Thomas and Gianni to lift him.

“Come on. Get up,” she says to Gina.

“I hear a siren,” Gina says. “I should stay and tell the police.”

Mama shakes her head. “At’sa no good idea, Angelina. This Brooklyn. If cops keep you overnight, Tony’s people have you killed in jail.”

“Tony’s people? Why would they hurt me?”

Just what I was going to ask. We have a lot in common, Gina and me.

“Who you think ordered this, huh?” Mama Bones says. “You think Bluefish send Jersey people to Brooklyn without permission?”

Gina’s crying. Between sniffs, she says, “Nunzio?”



Mama Bones leads our hurried, shuffling troop through a suddenly empty kitchen. Gee, where did the staff go? The chefs and chefettes are hiding.

Or maybe it’s that over-blended, caustic smell of roasting lamb shanks, grilled liver, sautéed fish, and burned broccoli that drove them away. I know I could use some fresh air.

Outside, in an alley busy with delivery vans and trucks, Gina first tumbles in behind the driver’s seat of a very clean white Cadillac Escalade. But when Gianni and Thomas stretch Tony out in the extended trunk, Gina changes her mind, wants to ride in back with her husband.

Gina screams when she crawls up close beside him. Uh, oh.

Mama Bones grips my arm. “Her husband is dead,” she says. “That animal Max break Tony’s neck.”

Thursday, January 17, 2008

A Good Conspiracy?

Marco Conelli is a veteran NYPD detective whose love of fictional detectives led him to the creation of Matthew Livingston, a teen sleuth with real friends--Dennis Sommers, and Sandra Small--and real-life issues faced by teens.

We met author Marco and his character Matthew a few months ago in Buffalo, and were happy to renew our acquaintence at last week's librarian hunt in Philadelphia (the American Library Assn. Midwinter confab). Marco was a big hit with the library ladies, at least while we were there. They liked Marco's book and his young good looks. He hardly seems old enough to be a policeman, let alone a veteran detective.

We asked Marco if he planned more Matthew Livingston books after this one, MATTHEW LIVINGSTON AND THE PRISON OF SOULS.

"The second Matthew Livingston book is about 85% complete and may I say some of the situations in this book have caused even me to sweat. After all there are sticky situations and there are sweaty situations, but all and all the mystery is there, the drama is there, and most importantly you will learn more about these three characters."

Looking for info on Marco, we discovered he's also a talented musician. His band plays in clubs around the New York area, and has an album for sale.

Wonder if he paints, too?

But here's the real scoop (conspiracy?) we picked up in Philadelphia: All the other Mystery Writers of America authors are secretly promoting Marco's book. We figure let's get the young people hooked on mysteries early, then we got'em for life!

Wicked, huh?

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

A Dark Shape Bumped Us...

The Famous Author and I arrived at the Pennsylvania Convention Center a tad late for our Mystery Writers of America booth signing Sunday, and while we were hurrying to unpack our books (I hand them out of the computer case to TFA), a dark shape kept bumping into us and whispering stuff.

Eventually, we discovered the phantom was in fact Rosemary Harris, author of PUSHING UP DAISIES, due Feb. 5 from St. Martin's Minotaur. Ro, as she signs her emails, has long dark hair and Sunday was dressed in black. She's not big, but she moves around fast and you don't want to get in her way. She acts with purpose. Even the old timers said this MWA booth was one of the best run ever, thanks in large part to Rosemary.

Oh, ya. The book. Here's St. Martin's promo copy:

Meet Paula Holliday, a transplanted media exec who trades her stilettos for garden clogs when she makes the move from the big city to the suburbs to start a gardening business. Paula can handle deer, slugs, and the occasional human pest---but she’s not prepared for the mummified body she finds while restoring the gardens at Halcyon, a local landmark.

(Oooo, oooo, I'm a sucker for mummies.)

Casual snooping turns serious when another body is impaled on a garden tool and one of Paula’s friends is arrested for the crime. Aided by the still-hot aging rocker who owns the neighborhood greasy spoon, a wise-cracking former colleague, and a sexy Mexican laborer with a few secrets of his own, Paula digs for the truth and unearths more dirty business the town has kept buried for years.

I made TFA pre-order this one. After listening to Rosemary whip TFA and those other men into shape at the author's booth, I have to meet her character, Paula. If she's half as much fun as Ro, the new series has to be a winner.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

24-Year-Old Redhead of the Week

From Houston, Texas, Rebecca Renee Olstead (born June 18, 1989) had parents who encouraged her talents. She loved to sing along to the radio, especially Celine Dion.

Renee has been onstage singing since she was 5, and cut a self-titled album at 15. At 10, she scored some supporting roles in television series and made-for-TV movies, among them Streets of Laredo (1995), Out There (1997), Touched by an Angel (1998), and Providence (1999).

Renee's first Hollywood role came in The Insider (1999), in which she played Russell Crowe's daughter. Another minor part followed alongside Arnold Schwarzenegger in End of Days (2000). That same year, she appeared with four famous geezers in Space Cowboys (2000).

In 2002 she was cast as Lauren, the precocious teenager of a Chicago blue-collar family in the CBS sitcom Still Standing.

Thanks to Renee and her website. I bet her new album's a knock-out.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Shameless Plug

The Famous Author met this author yesterday at the American Library Assn. convention in Philly, and TFA demanded I put up this cover and a promo piece today. Okay, he's the boss. Here's the promotion part:

Fresh out of med school and new to Philadelphia, Madison Cross is as green as they come. But she gets a chance to make her mark in the Crime Scene Unit when everyone-including the police-is quick to write off the deaths of two college girls as drug overdoses. For Madison, the evidence at the crime scene just doesn't add up.

Relying on her instincts, Madison embarks on an investigation that takes her from a pristine Ivy League campus to the seediest parts of town. And she must listen to what the bodies tell her-because unlike the living, the dead never lie.

Ooooo. Actually, this sounds pretty good. I wonder if D. H. Dublin gave TFA a copy? Also, I wonder if D.H. is a man or a woman.

"D. H. Dublin is actually a young guy named Jonathan McGoran," TFA said. "And no, he didn't give me a copy. They were too popular yesterday. But the third book in the series, FREEZER BURN, is due in September 2008."

"You sound like his PR man."

"Jon, Rosemary, and Marco were a lot of fun."

"Who are Rosemary and Marco?"

"Tell you later."