Monday, January 20, 2014

Should TFA Really be Exposing All These Warts?

Today we will be examining The Famous Author in some detail. As noted previously, the man is running around Internetville in a frog suit, exposing most of his warts. For instance, choosing "This or That" for the Soulmates book blog not too long ago, TFA sounded like a cold-blooded amphibian in search of shelter:

Sweet or sour?  Sweet
Warm or Cold Weather? Warm
Pop or country?  Pop
Hardcover or Paperback? Hardcover
Coffee or Tea?  Coffee
Halloween or Thanksgiving? Thanksgiving
Stories that are light and fun or dark and serious? Fun & light
Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate
Used books or new books? New Books
TV or movies? Movies
Drive or Fly? Fly
Action or Drama? Action
At Home or Out And About? Home
Night Owl or Early Bird? Early Bird
New York or Los Angeles? Lo SANG' lays

The same week, TFA managed to come up with 10 Random Things about himself for Cici. Frankly, he sounded like a baby.

1.  I love things from Mexico, but particularly food, especially chili Colorado.
2.  I have a dog and a cat that I grouch at most days for coming in and out.
3.  I used to work with the grandson of a very famous New York mafia don.
4.  I believe the third time is the charm; after two divorces, I tried one more time and have now been    married 34 years to the same wonderful woman. Never give up!

5.  I get sinusitis every winter when the house heat goes on.
6.  I grow vegetables in my wife’s flower garden.
7.  For three days I rode on an oil tanker that received multiple bomb threats.
8.  Delivered a client and his campaign donation to Gov. Jerry Brown and his rock singer girlfriend at the time Linda Ronstadt. She pretended the client and I weren’t there.

9.  Didn’t get the job once because my shoes weren’t shined
10. BIG NUMBERS is a conglomeration of (exaggerated) true stories: Fish killing fishermen, brokers marrying their clients’ widows, men living in cars trying to make alimony payments.

Here's the question. TFA thinks this helps publicize his books, and in fact may actually sell one or two. Love to hear what you guys think. As usual, I believe TFA lives in another world. -- AC

Monday, January 13, 2014

Blog Touring as a Frog

Man, The Famous Author really says some weird stuff trying to promote our books, The Austin Carr Mystery Series. He's touring virtually this month (online) with Book Nerd Blog Tours, visiting internet book hotspots like Paris Carter and All That's Written, running pictures like this ---

and saying even dumber things, such as:

"It’s important to LOOK busy, even when you’re not, so my desk looks like I single-handedly put out the New York Post everyday. Visitors are intimidated into thinking I must be a genius in order to find anything. The bookshelf has more dictionaries and grammar guides than most small libraries, although who needs them now that Google answers all questions, spells the hard words and can even translate if you want to get fancy with Latin or French. The calendar and map on the wall are no longer important. I hardly go anywhere."

TFA! Hey old man! What kind of publicity is this? Hate to say it, TFA, but the image you're spreading is more like what's below than a skilled author.

Although happy frogs can be fun.