Saturday, August 6, 2011

TFA Dumps Me for a Doll

So yesterday I'm sitting around the house, thinking up a new adventure for myself and Luis, when the phone rings. It's The Famous Author. To my shock and horror, he says, "Sorry, Austin. You're on the back burner for a while. There's this scary kachina character that needs my attention."

Ok, ok. I've been through this before. First it was Mama Bones with her own series. Then TFA said she was taking over my blog. Ha. I've heard this kachina stuff before, too. TFA has been whacking away at this story for years, actually writing the first sentences back in 2004 at some Oregon writers retreat with people like Elizabeth, Lorin, and Roman. They had me down in the mold-infested basement.

So when TFA says I'm on the back burner, I know better. He can't write anything but Screwball Mysteries. I put the hard squeeze on him. "Come on, TFA, who are you kidding? Has anybody read this kachina story yet?"

"Well, yes. A famous newspaper book reviewer read the first 50 pages and said it was awesome. My beta readers said it was the best thing I've ever done. And yesterday, the agent said this book was "going to make both of us some money."

"She always says that."

"Not really. In fact, she thinks stockbrokers are about as saleable as spoiled milk. You're a pariah, Austin."

"So who's the star of this new book? Your agent?"

"Ha. Nope. This is a story about a guy who dresses up like Nataska, The Black Ogre, and then wrecks havoc on Southern California."

"Sounds boring."

"My agent doesn't think so. Says we're hitting three NY thriller publishers with it next week."



Les Edgerton said...


Austin Carr said...

Thanks, Les. TFA says it might be good for me, too, if he sells this thriller. I don't see how. I'm not wearing any dumb masks.

Dana King said...

Note to TFA: Do not be deterred by Austin. he's a fun guy and it's always good to see what he's up to, but if he knew so much about what's going to be the next hot thing, he'd be rich, right?