Dear Publishing Company Acquisition Editor (you probably don't know who you are):
My name is Austin Carr. I'm a fictional stockbroker buried deep in your slush pile, dropped there last year by my hard-working, persistent agent. She's about given up on you (and me) and last week suggested I ought to think hard about self-publishing, adding my third adventure to the two that were published in 2007 and 2008. She says nobody likes stockbrokers. I'm a pariah.
Well, sor -- rey! I was just trying to make a living, and my boss said those collateralized default swaps and mortgage-backed bonds were golden investments. How was I supposed to know they loaned money to a bunch of deadbeats? But the truth is, all those bad investments that bankrupt our country and wiped out TFA's retirement income also made for great fiction. Think of all those angry customers. What conflict!
Anyway, Ms. PCAE, could you please just take a quick look at BIG MOJO down there? It has more laughs than a Conan O'Brien show, a great insider trading plot, and a knife-fight between Luis the bartender and a bad guy that'll make your knees quiver. Take a peek, will ya? I'd really rather not do this alone.