Thursday, February 24, 2011

Stranger Than Fiction

So The Famous Author saw this picture on Facebook yesterday -- the old prospector's name is Clark -- and TFA remembered a story from four decades ago, a story so strange, he has refused to repeat it the last three. No one ever believed it, he said. Why make a fool of himself by standing up for the Truth?

I don't know about you, but I had to hear the tale after that. I wanted to make up my own mind about whether to believe it or not. Let's face it. TFA has been known to exaggerate. And so late last night, after several large tequila sours, our friend the bozo author said something like this:

"Clark and his wife lived in San Francisco. My wife and I were visiting for a week from Los Angeles, staying with them. Since the wives were ditching us all day anyway, Clark and I decided to go salmon fishing on the spur of the moment. Figuring we'd rent everything we'd need, we jumped in his truck and took off north on Highway 101.

"Late that afternoon, maybe six or eight hours of driving, we reach the Klamath River. It's in California, but almost Oregon. The river banks are elbow-to-elbow with guys in waders and poles. The river inself looks like the Yankees parking lot on a game day, packed with rowboats.

"Clark and I decide to have a drink, figure out what the heck we're gonna do, maybe find out where to rent stuff. We order a cocktail. Clark suggests we play a hand of dice poker to see who pays. He rolls. I roll. I pay. I pay and I pay and I pay. Twenty-two carefully measured rounds later, I have no money. I have paid for forty-four shots of scotch and bourbon.

"I don't remember much after that. Clark took me to a party. He knew people up there (maybe the bartender?). I slept in a corner until he drove us home in the morning. We told the wives we gave away all the salmon we caught to some poor hungry kids."

Austin's Note: Top this with a true story in the comments section, I'll have TFA send you a signed book -- his, or maybe Dennis Lehane, S.J. Rozen, Jeffrey Cohen, Chris Grabenstein, and others. He has a few.

2 comments:

Jeff Markowitz said...

Well, there was the time nearly three decades ago when my wife and I checked into a small cottage somehwere in the White Mountains, a pretty deserted place, but great for skiing right from the door, and it was awfully quiet, but the skiing was good, so we headed out for the day, coming back hours later on another trail and we skied right through the yellow crime scene tape. It seems that the husband and wife who owned the place had been murdered just a few days before we arrived. But the skiing was great. "They're not killing guests," I told my wife.

Austin Carr said...

Jeff, my man. You want one of your own signed books? Didn't TFA buy one two years ago?

Did you get any blood on your ski boots?