Say hello, and goodbye, to a man named Chris Gulker.
As too many of us already know, maybe the worst, enduring wound of divorce is losing part of your children's life. After the screaming, fighting, and legal issues are done, emotional wounds heal over time and we get married again. So do they. Our children become part of another family.
I've seen some terrible stepfathers, and it was a frightening thing to turn my son over to another man 30 years ago. But as I told 150 people at "our" son's wedding twenty-seven years later, Chris Gulker probably did I better job raising my boy than I could have. Chris was always calm, patient, and understanding. Using only love and positive reinforcement, Chris taught our boy responsibility and courage, gave him love and self-confidence, and stood by him when the teenage years turned ugly.
Thank you, Chris. I love and will miss you always.