Boy, am I glad they didn't say this about The Famous Author's new book. If he HAD a new book.
"There could have been an element of suspense involved had (the author) not chosen to take an omniscient approach to writing the book; from the reader's perspective, there is nothing remotely surprising or thrilling to any aspect of this often lurid story. Worse, there's a rather silly pseudo-romantic subplot involving (the lead detective) and (another character) that has absolutely no reason for being ... other than as filler to pad the already overlong text."
I know it doesn't matter what they say, as long as they spell your name right. But ouch.
Tell'em to drink Drano, Ms. E.