Saturday, February 13, 2010

Famous Author Considers Murder

On Thursday, February 4 -- I'll never forget THAT day, huh? -- The Famous Author admitted he hadn't really been missing, he'd just been hiding from me, filling my fourth adventure with scads of info and action involving Mama Bones Bonacelli, my business partner's mob-connected mother. Scroll down just a bit if you missed it.

If you read my mission statement on the right, you'll see "staying alive in the crowded world of crime fiction" is one of my prime objectives with this blog. You'll also know why TFA's revelation has raised my blood pressure. The doc has me on medication. Seems there's a chance I am about to die.

TFA wouldn't even talk to me. He's writing short stories in a dither of activity. I took his cell phone and snuck into the bathroom. I found his agent Trixie in the contact list.

"What's up?" she answered. Boy did Trixie sound young. Like a teenager.

"Hey, Honey. This is Austin Carr. Do you have a minute for me?"

"TFA's protagonist is calling me on the telephone? Cool. But how did you do that?"

"Don't ask. It's too technical. Besides, I only have one question. When are you going to get BIG MOJO published? This blog is starting to feel cramped. I want to get out in the world again."

"I'm trying, babe. Honest. A big New York house has had your third adventure tied up for months and months. They can't make a decision."

"How many NOs have we had before that?"

"Five."

"What's the problem?"

"Stockbrokers. Every editor's 401K tanked and they all blame their stockbrokers."

Gulp. Even worse for my future, Trixie asked me the question I'd been dreading.

"So tell me, Austin, what do you think about Mama Bones doing a guest column for your blog?"

AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 comments:

Chris said...

Stay strong, Austin. Ya got fans. And hey, Holmes survived his trip down the falls...

Austin Carr said...

Thanks for the encouragement, Chris. If TFA wasn't such a bastard, I wouldn't be so worried. You never know what he'll do.