Men are SO predictable. I mean, I really should have known she was lying to me, telling me she loved me, telling me she wanted to spend the rest of our lives together in the sunshine of Cabo San Lucas. Gosh, I'm a fool for love.
Of course it was all a con. Once the ceremony was over, I found myself tied up in the closet while that woman (I won't ever mention her name again) went through my wallet and my briefcase, transferred all my bank accounts to her Swiss number, and even sold my used Toyota to a local fisherman.
Eventually I worked my hands out of the rope and confronted her, but she'd already anticipated my escape and immediately had me arrested by her REAL husband, the Cabo Sheriff. Worse, The Famous Author's mad at me for running away, and he won't come bail me out.
Help! Somebody come get me!