ROME, Nov. 15 -- In his wrap-up speech to top economists and politicians on the steps of the Roman Forum today, our own Corkface modified the words of Mark Anthony to describe the next twelve months as an economic disaster of historic proportions.
"Friends, Romans, and stock market investors, lend me your ears. We come to bury the U.S. economy, not to praise it."
To illustrate, Corkface threw all his stock certificates in the Trevi Fountain.
Once again, Corkface called for a 5% universal mortgage, backed by the U.S. government.
And once again, he ate spaghetti alle bolognese for lunch.